Oh, to be a free modern woman living my life the way I want to.
I go where I want to go and I do what I want to do.
And... I am in control of my sexuality.
Still, bad things happen to the care free when bars, men and alcohol mix together.
Throw in a doctor with a warped sense of humor...
And you get me asking -- Dear Diary: Why Didn't You Warn Me?
DEAR DIARY: WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME
(Grand Rapids, Michigan)
Today, Dr. Mann said to me, 'Alison, I need to come right out and give you the results of your tests.
'As I warned you, I did not like the preliminary results last week... and now, I have proof positive.'
She looked me dead in my eyes and said, 'You don't have cancer, you are 3 months pregnant... congratulations!'
I was shocked, Dear Diary... now I have to flip back through your now dark pages to see who in the hell I've brought home from my bar hopping!